25 years old and still the best self-help book out there

Yesterday’s Daily Mail carried an article in which I discovered that my favourite self-help book was 25 years old.  Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway written by Susan Jeffers has been going strong for 25 years – wow!  That’s amazing!  I am sad to say I only discovered it five years ago when I was studying for my life coaching accreditation.  But, boy did it have an impact on me!  It made me think very differently.

This powerful little 200-odd page book will give you the power to choose, the power to recognise the control you have over your responses to absolutely everything  I recommend it to many of my friends and my clients, both male and female.   The results have been astounding, used in conjunction with a programme of coaching it’s been remarkable.  The message is simple.  To use an over-used phrase ‘it does what it says on the tin’ and that’s a fact.

Below is an extract from Susan Jeffers’ website which sums up perfectly what the book is all about.

The Five Truths About Fear

FEAR TRUTH #1
The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow!

Every time you take a step into the unknown, you experience fear. There is no point in saying, “When I am no longer afraid, then I will do it.” You’ll be waiting for a long time. The fear is part of the package.

FEAR TRUTH #2
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and…do it!

When you do it often enough, you will no longer be afraid in that particular situation. You will have faced the unknown and you will have handled it. Then new challenges await you, which certainly add to the excitement in living.

FEAR TRUTH #3
The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and…do it!

With each little step you take into unknown territory, a pattern of strength develops. You begin feeling stronger and stronger and stronger.

FEAR TRUTH #4
Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else!

This should be a relief. You are not the only one out there feeling fear. Everyone feels fear when taking a step into the unknown. Yes, all those people who have succeeded in doing what they have wanted to do in life have felt the fear – and did it anyway. So can you!

FEAR TRUTH #5
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness!

This is the one truth that some people have difficulty understanding. When you push through the fear, you will feel such a sense of relief as your feeling of helplessness subsides. You will wonder why you did not take action sooner. You will become more and more aware that you can truly handle anything that life hands you.

These five truths about fear have been adapted from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway® and its sequel, Feel the Fear and Beyond.

Once you realise you have a choice, you will have the power.  You will be able to feel the fear and do it anyway in any situation!

If you want to change something in your life, ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’ is phenomenal.  Have a look on your book shelves see if you have a copy that’s been lurking there for years and if you do re-read it.  If you read it two years ago, read it again, make it a yearly task.  Or buy your copy now!

How has ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’ helped you in your life?  Share your stories in the comment section here.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Find a way of developing resilience

How many times do you have to hear ‘no’ before you give up?  Do you get a knock-back, someone says ‘no’ and that’s it, it’s over.

1.  You apply for a job, you have all the skills, they say no, you give up.

2.  You ask for a promotion, you are the perfect candidate, they say no, you give up.

3.  You set up a business, you have a great product, you ask for sales, they say no, you give up.

Recognise yourself in any of these patterns?

Remember when you were small and you wanted something.  You asked for it.  And you didn’t get it.  You asked for it again. You still didn’t get it.  So you asked in a different way.  Still no joy.  So you asked someone else. Maybe that worked.  If it didn’t, you found another way and kept on trying.

What is resilience?

If you look at the strategies of successful people, you will find they have developed a method of becoming so resilient, they won’t stop until they reach their goal.  They keep trying, time after time.  Some will even tell you that they like hearing the “no’s” because it means they’re closer to that highly-prized “yes!”

My top resilience tips:

1. Define your goal, be clear on what you want.
2. Be creative, think of many different ways you can reach your goal.
3. Ask for help, others may be able to provide you exactly what you need to get a step closer.
4. Stop taking everything personally, just because you didn’t get it this time doesn’t mean you are a bad person or your product is no good.
5. Take a tip from former US President Bill Clinton who said “If you voluntarily quit in the face of adversity, you’ll wonder about it for the rest of your life.”

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Career change? Thought you were comfortable? Picture courtesy of www.tvftdo.com

A client of mine has been working on making changes to her career for a while now. During this time she has managed to alter the conditions of her current job and she has improved relationships and communication with her colleagues. She has a better work/life balance, clearly, she feels better about herself overall.

All the while we have worked I can hear that deep down she really wishes to change direction or change jobs and start something new. I have tried to push and encourage her to make the move yet each time she pushes back or is opting out of a decision.   Also, family circumstances and events have occurred that have diverted her focus. The important thing is she does what is right for her.  She has got to the point now where she is completely fed up with herself for not making a change and is prepared to do something. It’s a kind of tipping point.

In a coaching session last week, she realised that whilst her perception of her current job is she’s staying put because it’s comfortable, she’s actually really very uncomfortable.   Also, that she’s putting a huge amount of effort and energy into making it OK and trying to make it comfortable. In fact she’s putting so much effort into making it comfortable it could be easier to just go for it and find something new.  The comfort zone she believes she has is uncomfortable.

Even when we got to this point she was still talking herself out if it, her mind was rushing ahead; ‘What if this?’, ‘What if that?’ ‘What happens when I get to this stage?’ I reassured her that if she takes a step by step approach, she can deal with these challenges if they happen and this will make the transition easier.

Now I am not going to push her to move into something new until she is ready, the decision has to be hers, however the realisation has hit home.  Last week’s session was a big breakthrough.

Like the picture?  See more at www.theviewfromthedartmouthoffice.com

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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It’s back to school time!  I remember it well; the sweet heavy smell of Autumn in the air, the shiny new Clarks shoes (how I hated them!), the three sizes too big blazer and the disillusioned feeling of wishing the holidays could go on forever.  It’s a familiar feeling as September begins.

It’s time to get refocused.  If you’re running a business, it’s a very important time to make these last four months of 2011 count.  What needs to happen?  It’s highly likely that your answer will be along the lines of make more sales, get more clients and earn more money.  With the tough financial situation continuing, if you are struggling to make sales or convert sales leads into customers  it’s time to get focused and hone those sales skills.

I have recently interviewed sales expert Dylis Guyan, of www.IncreaseYourSalesIn30Days.com Dylis is a power-house of sales and an expert in her field.  In the interview she shares her top tips on getting focused and making more sales.

This exclusive free interview is packed with valuable information and Dylis gives a step by step guide on how to stop struggling to make sales and instead hit your sales targets.   So ask yourself the following questions.

Are you struggling…..

• To deal with the “Financial Crisis” and the impact it is having on your sales?
• To find the type of customers you want to see you?
• To convince your customers that your product/service is the best?
• To hit your Sales Target.
• Do you have a team or teams struggling to meet Sales Targets

Register below to receive your free copy (I am giving the first 50 copies away for free, after that I will be charging for this)

 

First Name:

Last Name:

Email:

We respect your email privacy

Email Marketing by AWeber

 

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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A new leaf? Picture courtesy of www.tvftdo.com

Having seen all the recent activity on my blog, one of my lovely clients asked if she could submit a blog giving an account of her personal coaching journey.  I know she has come such a long way and got a great deal from her coaching.  She has done this with focus and very impressive determination.  I am flattered by what she says and I am delighted she wants to share her story.

“I started my coaching with Sue in April 2008.  Initially, I was seeking help with my work life balance.  Once I began my sessions I could see how closely connected all areas of life are and how it’s hard therefore to discuss them independently – hence the title “Life Coaching”!

Life coaching with Sue has made a real difference to me. I have been able to look at my responses and  reactions to situations and take greater responsibility for my actions and decisions. This has enabled me to feel calmer and more in control of my life.  Coaching is powerful because through careful questioning it leads to finding solutions from within yourself.  Coaching is all about finding clarity and moving forward.

Sue has walked alongside me through a range of issues –  from time management, issues at work to more personal issues of communication within relationships and even enabling me to face a real fear and anxiety about driving.

Throughout, Sue has challenged and supported me.  It has been an incredible journey (quite literally with the driving!). I have learnt alot about myself and made valuable life changes.  Life Coaching is a real personal investment..  I have learnt the importance of making and taking time to look at my life.  It is not indulgent, it is a necessity if we wish to give and be our best not only to ourselves, but to those we live and work with.

Of course, the real success lies in finding and working with the right coach. I count myself very fortunate to have met Sue and to have had the opportunity to work with her. Sue offers more than just the ability and skills needed to be a coach.  Sue is compassionate and has a real commitment to her role as well as great intuition.    I met Sue at a time when I really needed help and guidance.  I can really see the difference between how I handled things before coaching and now.  With Sue I have found clarity, contentment and a feeling that whatever happens I “can handle it”.

This is priceless.  Life Coaching with Sue is a present to myself – and what a gift it is.”

Find out more about how life coaching can help you.
Free your mind – Live your life, free email coaching programme

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Sarah and Becky Martin, a determined pair of bunnies

The marvelous Martin sisters did it!  Their challenge, as mentioned in my previous blog, was to complete three marathons in three consecutive weekends, simply amazing.  Congratulations to Sarah and Becky!   Believe it or not this picture was taken after they had finished the London Marathon, their final race. These two inspiring women have raised nearly £6000 in sponsorship for Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation for Disabled People and would love to raise more. 

I spent a magical day in London watching the spectacle that is the Virgin London Marathon.  What a heart-warming, inspirational day.  I loved every minute.  It’s been about 12 years since I last went to see the London Marathon and I am amazed at how it has grown in that time.  The atmosphere was electric, the camaraderie of the spectators was wonderful and the competitors were so inspiring.  I left home early and arrived at Canary Wharf at about 9.30am,  OK, it was early for me, many of the runners must have left way earlier than that!  I went on my own and shortly after arriving I bumped into a friend and her husband, what a coincidence.  They were on their way to mile 15, but I decided to stay put.  I was glad I did as just outside Canary Wharf station on a set-up stage, the amazing Rock Choir started their performance.  The choir was formed mostly of women their voices rang out as they sang big pop ballards.  I found myself singing and dancing in the street with complete strangers, wonderful!

The excitement grew when the whirr of the helicopters overhead announced the arrival of the first group of competitors, the Wheelchair Men group,  The other groups raced through in batches, the Elite Women, the Wheelchair Women and then finally the Elite Men.  Each group interspersed by stragglers from the previous groups.  Canary Wharf is at mile 19 so the strain of the race was showing on the faces of many whilst others looked like they were out for a walk in the park.

As soon as these groups went through I left and took the underground to Bermondsey, which is at mile 12, I stayed there for 20 minutes and watched some of the main group of fun runners, people in every concievable costume, every age, it was so impressive.  The crowds and the number of runners had grown by this time, every one with a story to tell.

Spectators and runners - each with a story to tell

Then, back on the train to Embankment. I walked towards Westminster, the crowds were two and three deep, I stopped to watch the runners, I couldn’t help but be moved to tears by the bravery and the determination of so many.  After that it was back to Waterloo Bridge where I was meeting a Ladies at 11 member, Laura Hart and her husband.  This was where we hoped to see Sarah and Becky come through just two miles from the end of the race.  Sarah had given us prior warning that they were wearing pink fluffy bunny ears, so craned our necks looking into the sea of brave faces as they ran past us, where were those ears?  Then suddenly there they were, we screamed out to them and they heard us and saw us waving furiously.  Our job was done.

We left and walked to Horseguards parade and watched all the finishers as they filed into the meeting area and there they were in the crowd again those pink fluffy bunny ears, and the two smiling relieved faces of Sarah and Becky.   Well done girls, hope you’re having a well-earned rest next weekend!  Their charity is  Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation for Disabled People, if you haven’t already sponsored them and would like  to you can do so here.

All in all it was a truly special day, one filled with friendship, determination, inspiration and dedication.  A fantastic example of London as the wonderful city it is.  A perfect Sunday!

Would you buy more time?
Sarah Martin – aiming high and far
A Day in the Life
How do I indentify my target market?
How changing your view can reinvent your life

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Today’s challenge is to write a weekly round-up and so here it is:

How Changing Your View Can Reinvent Your Life
Inspired by my friends who have moved from London to Dartmouth and have changed their lives in the process, I also wanted to showcase their amazing photos taken from their office window and garden.  If you’ve already read this, take time to revisit and read Carole’s equally inspiring new comments. 

A Sure Fire Tip To Stop Procrastinating
I have to confess the idea for this blog was bourne out of my own procrastination.  Part of the 30 Day Blog Challenge is to become familiar with your key phrases.  I started to do this and the perfectionist in me got stuck by wondering if I was doing it correctly.  In the end I just got on with it!  And wow, did it get a good reaction, I found many like-minded souls who were eager to try out my ‘sure fire tip’

A Day In The Life
All about me and my typical working day.  Not something I would have written before ‘getting into’ this blogging lark.

Sarah Martin – Aiming High and Far
My top story! Thanks for all the mentions on Facebook and Twitter.  I am truly inspired by what Sarah is doing and I know many of you are too.  Don’t forget to watch out for her on telly on Sunday as she takes part in the London Marathon, her third of three marathons in three weeks charity challenge.  I wonder what she will be doing next weekend?

How do I identify my target market?
A touch of marketing. I work with many of my clients on improving marketing strategy,  this blog highlighted a step by step process to follow.

That was my week, it’s been busy.  Thanks to everyone who has commented and given words of encouragement, it’s much appreciated.

Coming up next week, a guest blogger, a song and, fingers crossed, my first guest blogging gig!

Have a wonderful weekend.

Sue

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Sue Bown

It’s day seven of my 30 Day Blog Challenge, today’s assignment is to write a ‘day in the life’ – hence the title.  It’s been a beautiful spring day today and that’s good because it’s Saturday and to me that means golf.  Whilst I could bore you witless with a blow by blow account of my round of golf, I think I’ll desist. 

Therefore, I’ll tell you about my day on Thursday.  It was another beautiful April day, a cloudless blue sky.  Inspired by this, I started bright and early.  I was a little bit bleary-eyed as I‘d had a late but enjoyable Wednesday night acting as a judge at the Toastmasters Area level of International Speech Evaluation Contest.

My work is much more enjoyable these days since I left my corporate career four years ago.  At that time I was in a cosseted corporate role, by cosseted I mean that I didn’t fully appreciate the regular monthly paycheck I received and I didn’t appreciate the benefits working for a large corporate company.   It took a huge brave leap to leave, to be honest I surprised myself.  It has proven to be one of the best decisions I have ever made.  In the relatively short time since leaving  I have learnt new skills, enhanced old skills, made new friends and contacts, got to know myself better and it feels like I’ve transformed myself into a completely new person.

Back to Thursday, I got started with my first client of the day, a telephone coaching session.  This lady has  recently started working with me she is working on her work/life balance and managing her stress levels.  She has a session weekly, she is doing very well and feels much calmer.

My next client was another telephone session, this time a Business Breakthrough client who is working to grow his small business.  We speak monthly, each session is focused on creating an Action Plan to move him towards his targets.  He too is making good progress and is much more focused and motivated.

Then I took some time to update my own Action Plan following a meeting with my coach and mentor on Wednesday.  I intend to continue to grow my business, so it’s important to plan and have my own targets and goals.  In my opinion everyone needs a coach, even coaches need a coach.  It’s vital to maintain the focus and forward momentum.

After lunch it was time to visit another Business Breakthrough client, we meet in a coffee shop in a local hotel.  We have worked together for eight months, in that time she has increased her sales by an amazing 300%/

Following this meeting I drive back to my office, it’s time to catch up on some emails and phone calls.  That’s about it.

My evening, well, once I have received my 30 Day Blog Challenge email it’s time to start blogging again and of course to watch The Masters golf on TV.

The great thing about what I do now is the variety, every day is different.

I have found myself a freedom that I didn’t know existed.  I am happy.

___

About the Author: Sue Bown: Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Twitter @thecoachingzone
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheCoachingZone

Other blog posts:

Would you buy more time?
Sarah Martin – aiming high and far
How do I indentify my target market?

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Website - Twitter - Facebook - More Posts

More time needed

What if you could add a couple of hours to each day, would you do it?  Would you get everything done?  In the words of Louis Armstrong  ’We have all the time in the world’ or do we?  Do you frequently find that you run out of time?  Our busy world is filled with people rushing everywhere, to get the train, to pick up the children, to get some emails sent, to get to a meeting, the list goes on.  Where does time go?  I think time is such a valuable commodity it could even be sold on the stock market,  Just imagine if that was possible?  If you did buy more time what would you do with it?  Would you spend more time at work?  Would you spend more time with your family?

Here are my top tips for finding more time in your day.

1. Plan your day.  Decide what you want to do, decide what you want to achieve in a day.  Write down your goal for the day

2. Make a list. Write it down the night before and leave it on your desk or your worktop ready for you the next day.  When the next day comes stick to it.

3. Be firm.  Give others warning that you are sticking to your time frames and if someone wants to have some of your time then schedule it in advance.  Be firm with yourself too, don’t let distractions take you away from your plan.

4. Focus on the big things,  Remember you chose what you focus on and if you focus on the small things then they will get done.  So focus firmly on the big things and they will get done instead.  Stay with your main aims for each day.

5. Delegate.  If there are some things that you either hate doing or you could easily delegate then do it.  You’ll find by delegating it will free up your time to focus on the big things.

6. Celebrate.  Decide what treat you are going to have when your plan is accomplished.  Maybe give youself some ‘Me time’ at relevant points in the day.

Enjoy your time, it’s the only time you have.  Remember John Lennon’s famous quote:

 ’Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans’.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Oh dear, what have I done, I’ve signed up to Nikki Pilkington’s 30 Day Blogging Challenge. This is day one, only another 29 to go!  Firstly thanks for reading this and thanks for supporting me on this challenge.  I’ve had a blog now for about three years, but my blogging has been sporadic to say the least.  You may have noticed my last blog was published back in January, so now is the time to pull my socks up and let Nikki knock me into shape.  She has promised to send me an email every day to help motivate and inspire me.  Today’s email hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m that eager to get going I’ve started already.  Why don’t you join up too and we can compare notes along the way?

Why have I done this?  Well, I know blogging helps to build your website and grow connections and it’s a great low-cost way to market your business and to raise your profile.  I can do this by providing information that readers hopefully will find useful.  Also, it’s been bugging me that I have this website with a blog facility set up and I don’t use it enough.  Who knows this might even be therapuetic!

To introduce myself, my name is Sue Bown, I work with business owners, executives and individuals to take their businesses and lives to the next level by achieving their business and life goals.  Also I’m a keen golfer, especially in the sun!

What do I need to get going on this blog?  I need ideas and inspiration.  I do get ideas, occasionally I get started on them as a blog item and then they get lost in the doing and never get published.  If you can help me with any ideas. please let me know.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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