25 years old and still the best self-help book out there

Yesterday’s Daily Mail carried an article in which I discovered that my favourite self-help book was 25 years old.  Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway written by Susan Jeffers has been going strong for 25 years – wow!  That’s amazing!  I am sad to say I only discovered it five years ago when I was studying for my life coaching accreditation.  But, boy did it have an impact on me!  It made me think very differently.

This powerful little 200-odd page book will give you the power to choose, the power to recognise the control you have over your responses to absolutely everything  I recommend it to many of my friends and my clients, both male and female.   The results have been astounding, used in conjunction with a programme of coaching it’s been remarkable.  The message is simple.  To use an over-used phrase ‘it does what it says on the tin’ and that’s a fact.

Below is an extract from Susan Jeffers’ website which sums up perfectly what the book is all about.

The Five Truths About Fear

FEAR TRUTH #1
The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow!

Every time you take a step into the unknown, you experience fear. There is no point in saying, “When I am no longer afraid, then I will do it.” You’ll be waiting for a long time. The fear is part of the package.

FEAR TRUTH #2
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and…do it!

When you do it often enough, you will no longer be afraid in that particular situation. You will have faced the unknown and you will have handled it. Then new challenges await you, which certainly add to the excitement in living.

FEAR TRUTH #3
The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and…do it!

With each little step you take into unknown territory, a pattern of strength develops. You begin feeling stronger and stronger and stronger.

FEAR TRUTH #4
Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else!

This should be a relief. You are not the only one out there feeling fear. Everyone feels fear when taking a step into the unknown. Yes, all those people who have succeeded in doing what they have wanted to do in life have felt the fear – and did it anyway. So can you!

FEAR TRUTH #5
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness!

This is the one truth that some people have difficulty understanding. When you push through the fear, you will feel such a sense of relief as your feeling of helplessness subsides. You will wonder why you did not take action sooner. You will become more and more aware that you can truly handle anything that life hands you.

These five truths about fear have been adapted from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway® and its sequel, Feel the Fear and Beyond.

Once you realise you have a choice, you will have the power.  You will be able to feel the fear and do it anyway in any situation!

If you want to change something in your life, ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’ is phenomenal.  Have a look on your book shelves see if you have a copy that’s been lurking there for years and if you do re-read it.  If you read it two years ago, read it again, make it a yearly task.  Or buy your copy now!

How has ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’ helped you in your life?  Share your stories in the comment section here.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Career change? Thought you were comfortable? Picture courtesy of www.tvftdo.com

A client of mine has been working on making changes to her career for a while now. During this time she has managed to alter the conditions of her current job and she has improved relationships and communication with her colleagues. She has a better work/life balance, clearly, she feels better about herself overall.

All the while we have worked I can hear that deep down she really wishes to change direction or change jobs and start something new. I have tried to push and encourage her to make the move yet each time she pushes back or is opting out of a decision.   Also, family circumstances and events have occurred that have diverted her focus. The important thing is she does what is right for her.  She has got to the point now where she is completely fed up with herself for not making a change and is prepared to do something. It’s a kind of tipping point.

In a coaching session last week, she realised that whilst her perception of her current job is she’s staying put because it’s comfortable, she’s actually really very uncomfortable.   Also, that she’s putting a huge amount of effort and energy into making it OK and trying to make it comfortable. In fact she’s putting so much effort into making it comfortable it could be easier to just go for it and find something new.  The comfort zone she believes she has is uncomfortable.

Even when we got to this point she was still talking herself out if it, her mind was rushing ahead; ‘What if this?’, ‘What if that?’ ‘What happens when I get to this stage?’ I reassured her that if she takes a step by step approach, she can deal with these challenges if they happen and this will make the transition easier.

Now I am not going to push her to move into something new until she is ready, the decision has to be hers, however the realisation has hit home.  Last week’s session was a big breakthrough.

Like the picture?  See more at www.theviewfromthedartmouthoffice.com

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Love this video, very thought provoking.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Website - Twitter - Facebook - More Posts

Louise Reynolds, Property Venture, busy working mum

I started my company Property Venture with a view to striking a positive work, family-life balance, as well as pursuing a passion in property. I had done all the city-commuting bit, doing a demanding job and still trying to have a family life, but cracks were starting to appear.

So Property Venture® was born, to make an ethical mark in the overseas property scene, operating a low overhead business model and allowing for home life. So,am I achieving it?

Well a typical, recent, Monday looks like this…

My alarm goes off at 6.40 a.m. but my alarm clock knows that there is a big difference between it going off and me getting up!  But, I am in action at 7.20 a.m. corralling, cajoling, chuntering and just generally getting the kids ready for school.

By the time I have dropped off at their schools at 8.25 a.m. and 8.35 a.m. respectively, I can be at my office desk at 8.45 a.m.  My low overhead business model means that my work is close to the childrens’ schools.

I check e-mails first thing to see if anything urgent needs to be dealt with and my Twitter Direct Messages, through my Hootsuite panel, as well as a whistle-stop at my Facebook Property Venture Company Page. When I first started using social media for business I was scared stiff about how much of my time it would sap away from doing productive, “hard-nosed”, work.  Now it has become part of my weekly routine and by using all the support tools, management suites and pre-saved tabs on my internet browser Firefox ( I find it more robust than Internet Explorer), I believe it has helped me become a more prolific and efficient business communicator.  This and property-forum posting have helped build the business profile on the property scene. I now have a following of over 1200 on Twitter (I like to think it’s because I have something valuable to say about property and investing, but it may be some people have nothing better to do…), and on LinkedIn and Facebook I have over 500 valuable connections respectively.

I try to limit my time on this so I can start with meaty projects.  It’s that time of month again…(no not that one…) when I send out my e-newsletter to my database.  I make sure I have all my Property Blogs and Press Room posts up to date (my latest mention has been in A Place in the Sun for my Turkish tips), as I feature them all in my newsletters. This mailing can be quick, or really time-consuming, depending on technology.  I use 1shoppingcart to manage my database and if I don’t work in the mornings, it chugs along more slowly when the USA wakes up in the afternoon.  Still, I console myself that last month’s newsletter got a promising 19% open rate, so there must be interest in all my latest tips on overseas property buying.

I manage to grab time to follow up on a Spanish property enquiry and have a conversation with the Spanish Lawyer I am working with to help people who have paid a deposit on an off-plan property, but have not got a finished property to show for it. This has hit a nerve for many, who have had a frustrating time dealing with this from afar.

I don’t usually take a lunch break, which is part of my way of extending my working day.  This is even better if the children have after-school clubs, so I don’t have to pick up until 4.15 p.m. I then get home and do a bit more work, although this isn’t a great way of making sure the children do their homework properly.  I have often found myself feeling guilty at Parents’ evening for not doing better at this!  Anyway, it seems a small price to pay for that ever-seemingly-elusive, work life balance.

Louise Reynolds is the Director at Property Venture® and would love to connect with other Business Ladies either through Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn

Property Venture® has been featured or mentioned in: The Sunday Times, The Times Online, Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, Independent on Sunday, Homes Magazine, HSBC Liquid Magazine, Easyjet Magazine, London Homes & Property, A Place in the Sun

If you would like to write about a day in your life and how you manage your own work/life balance, please get in touch with sue@thecoachingzone.co.uk.

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LK Bennett website

I am loving LK Bennett’s latest advertising campaign with it’s clever strapline ‘Life is the occasion’.  How often do you keep your best clothes, best attitude, or dare I say, best behaviour for special occasions only? 

Life IS the occasion.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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A new leaf? Picture courtesy of www.tvftdo.com

Having seen all the recent activity on my blog, one of my lovely clients asked if she could submit a blog giving an account of her personal coaching journey.  I know she has come such a long way and got a great deal from her coaching.  She has done this with focus and very impressive determination.  I am flattered by what she says and I am delighted she wants to share her story.

“I started my coaching with Sue in April 2008.  Initially, I was seeking help with my work life balance.  Once I began my sessions I could see how closely connected all areas of life are and how it’s hard therefore to discuss them independently – hence the title “Life Coaching”!

Life coaching with Sue has made a real difference to me. I have been able to look at my responses and  reactions to situations and take greater responsibility for my actions and decisions. This has enabled me to feel calmer and more in control of my life.  Coaching is powerful because through careful questioning it leads to finding solutions from within yourself.  Coaching is all about finding clarity and moving forward.

Sue has walked alongside me through a range of issues –  from time management, issues at work to more personal issues of communication within relationships and even enabling me to face a real fear and anxiety about driving.

Throughout, Sue has challenged and supported me.  It has been an incredible journey (quite literally with the driving!). I have learnt alot about myself and made valuable life changes.  Life Coaching is a real personal investment..  I have learnt the importance of making and taking time to look at my life.  It is not indulgent, it is a necessity if we wish to give and be our best not only to ourselves, but to those we live and work with.

Of course, the real success lies in finding and working with the right coach. I count myself very fortunate to have met Sue and to have had the opportunity to work with her. Sue offers more than just the ability and skills needed to be a coach.  Sue is compassionate and has a real commitment to her role as well as great intuition.    I met Sue at a time when I really needed help and guidance.  I can really see the difference between how I handled things before coaching and now.  With Sue I have found clarity, contentment and a feeling that whatever happens I “can handle it”.

This is priceless.  Life Coaching with Sue is a present to myself – and what a gift it is.”

Find out more about how life coaching can help you.
Free your mind – Live your life, free email coaching programme

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Kathy Lawrence, no time for swanning around

As a freelance copywriter I’ve been helping businesses get their marketing words right for the last 25 years. I did that juggling thing with work and children and came through unscathed.

Then disaster struck. Just as my two major clients walked away from their businesses, my parents became ill – father with heart problems, mother with dementia. As I couldn’t manage supporting parents and building up the business again, work went on hold. Now I’m starting to make progress with the business, but life is refusing to get out of the way …

So this was Tuesday.

5.58am How did I manage that? Wake up two minutes before alarm. No noise from slumbering husband.

6.45 Pick up 20-year-old son and his girlfriend from their rented flat a couple of miles away to drive them to Ashford Hospital. Son is popping in for the day for a quick gallbladder removal.

7.30 Plans nixed already. No one allowed to stay with son, so girlfriend and I depart. So busy deciding how to play the day, we forget to say goodbye to son. Guilt plus anxiety set in for the next few hours.

8.30 Bummer. The only exercise I have ever really enjoyed has been cancelled. No Zumba now till Thursday evening. Why is Zumba the exception to the rule? Because it kids you into thinking you’re dancing, not having a cardiac workout.

To work instead. Or at least some social media marketing. There are so many ways of getting your name known, it’s hard to find the time when you’re a one-person business. So I’m focusing on Twitter, aiming to make several helpful posts about writing for marketing every day, and then one or two that add a bit of personality.

11.30 Proper paying work. Excellent! Conference call with a really great client to discuss the next issue of his newsletter. Love the clients who understand how marketing and copywriting are complementary, and actually ask for my advice on communicating with their customers. Client has already pulled two articles that were a bit too close to selling, when what he wants to do is build relationships with his customers by sharing knowledge.

12.30 Return from a quick walk to Waitrose to long phone messages from my most gloomy uncle about my father. At 89, dad is in hospital again having his pacemaker upgraded and other running repairs, and uncle is more Eeyore-like than usual.

12.31 Quick turn around my cherished vegetable plot to mull over my response. Return to find another message from another uncle. Goodness, my dad must really be sharing the pain today.

13.00 Yes he is. Dad calls to tell me his woes. Bite the bullet and offer to have him here until he’s strong enough to go home. My dad is a great person who’s helped many people over the years, and I have no problem with supporting him in return. But, he’s high maintenance nowadays, and he’ll be taking the spare room that’s supposed to be my decorative painting workroom. So less time to focus on work, and no space to paint. Yes, this is a whinge. I’ll get over it.

14.00 Worried about lack of news on the son front but enjoying working on the newsletter. When you’re writing a friendly but informative piece you can really let the words flow.

17.00 Message that son is ready to leave. Sub-text seems to be he’s climbing the walls and needs out. Can’t contact his girlfriend so head off into rush hour traffic alone, leaving dinner half-prepared.

18.00 Son is tired, thirsty, hungry and fractious. Totally out of character he starts an argument with the nurse about what he can and can’t eat when he gets out.

19.30 Call from older living-at-home son. What are we doing about dinner? Get home just as he is heading off to fish and chip shop for a large portion of cholesterol all round. Yum.

20.00 Not much achieved on the work front today. So it’s now time to start thinking about my presentation at the networking lunch tomorrow.

And about what to do with non-paying customers.

And a few more phone calls from concerned relatives about son and father.

And how to deal with stress without Zumba or alcohol (in case of emergency runs to A&E).

And so to bed.

Still on the list:

• Follow up on ongoing work projects
• Do some real marketing
• Water the garden
• Update the decorative painting blog
• Any housework – although the dishwasher’s been done
• Take decent exercise
• Find out if my friends are still in the country

• You can find out more about the Wrightwell copywriting business at www.wrightwell.com
• If you’d like tips on writing for business, try my blog at http://wrightwell.blogspot.com/ and follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/wrightwell
• For something completely different, my desperately in need of updating painting blog is at http://artforapurpose.blogspot.com/
• Oh, and you can contact me directly at kathy@wrightwell.com about writing, painting, gardening, aged parents, dementia etc etc

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Sarah and Becky Martin, a determined pair of bunnies

The marvelous Martin sisters did it!  Their challenge, as mentioned in my previous blog, was to complete three marathons in three consecutive weekends, simply amazing.  Congratulations to Sarah and Becky!   Believe it or not this picture was taken after they had finished the London Marathon, their final race. These two inspiring women have raised nearly £6000 in sponsorship for Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation for Disabled People and would love to raise more. 

I spent a magical day in London watching the spectacle that is the Virgin London Marathon.  What a heart-warming, inspirational day.  I loved every minute.  It’s been about 12 years since I last went to see the London Marathon and I am amazed at how it has grown in that time.  The atmosphere was electric, the camaraderie of the spectators was wonderful and the competitors were so inspiring.  I left home early and arrived at Canary Wharf at about 9.30am,  OK, it was early for me, many of the runners must have left way earlier than that!  I went on my own and shortly after arriving I bumped into a friend and her husband, what a coincidence.  They were on their way to mile 15, but I decided to stay put.  I was glad I did as just outside Canary Wharf station on a set-up stage, the amazing Rock Choir started their performance.  The choir was formed mostly of women their voices rang out as they sang big pop ballards.  I found myself singing and dancing in the street with complete strangers, wonderful!

The excitement grew when the whirr of the helicopters overhead announced the arrival of the first group of competitors, the Wheelchair Men group,  The other groups raced through in batches, the Elite Women, the Wheelchair Women and then finally the Elite Men.  Each group interspersed by stragglers from the previous groups.  Canary Wharf is at mile 19 so the strain of the race was showing on the faces of many whilst others looked like they were out for a walk in the park.

As soon as these groups went through I left and took the underground to Bermondsey, which is at mile 12, I stayed there for 20 minutes and watched some of the main group of fun runners, people in every concievable costume, every age, it was so impressive.  The crowds and the number of runners had grown by this time, every one with a story to tell.

Spectators and runners - each with a story to tell

Then, back on the train to Embankment. I walked towards Westminster, the crowds were two and three deep, I stopped to watch the runners, I couldn’t help but be moved to tears by the bravery and the determination of so many.  After that it was back to Waterloo Bridge where I was meeting a Ladies at 11 member, Laura Hart and her husband.  This was where we hoped to see Sarah and Becky come through just two miles from the end of the race.  Sarah had given us prior warning that they were wearing pink fluffy bunny ears, so craned our necks looking into the sea of brave faces as they ran past us, where were those ears?  Then suddenly there they were, we screamed out to them and they heard us and saw us waving furiously.  Our job was done.

We left and walked to Horseguards parade and watched all the finishers as they filed into the meeting area and there they were in the crowd again those pink fluffy bunny ears, and the two smiling relieved faces of Sarah and Becky.   Well done girls, hope you’re having a well-earned rest next weekend!  Their charity is  Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation for Disabled People, if you haven’t already sponsored them and would like  to you can do so here.

All in all it was a truly special day, one filled with friendship, determination, inspiration and dedication.  A fantastic example of London as the wonderful city it is.  A perfect Sunday!

Would you buy more time?
Sarah Martin – aiming high and far
A Day in the Life
How do I indentify my target market?
How changing your view can reinvent your life

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Website - Twitter - Facebook - More Posts

Sue Bown

It’s day seven of my 30 Day Blog Challenge, today’s assignment is to write a ‘day in the life’ – hence the title.  It’s been a beautiful spring day today and that’s good because it’s Saturday and to me that means golf.  Whilst I could bore you witless with a blow by blow account of my round of golf, I think I’ll desist. 

Therefore, I’ll tell you about my day on Thursday.  It was another beautiful April day, a cloudless blue sky.  Inspired by this, I started bright and early.  I was a little bit bleary-eyed as I‘d had a late but enjoyable Wednesday night acting as a judge at the Toastmasters Area level of International Speech Evaluation Contest.

My work is much more enjoyable these days since I left my corporate career four years ago.  At that time I was in a cosseted corporate role, by cosseted I mean that I didn’t fully appreciate the regular monthly paycheck I received and I didn’t appreciate the benefits working for a large corporate company.   It took a huge brave leap to leave, to be honest I surprised myself.  It has proven to be one of the best decisions I have ever made.  In the relatively short time since leaving  I have learnt new skills, enhanced old skills, made new friends and contacts, got to know myself better and it feels like I’ve transformed myself into a completely new person.

Back to Thursday, I got started with my first client of the day, a telephone coaching session.  This lady has  recently started working with me she is working on her work/life balance and managing her stress levels.  She has a session weekly, she is doing very well and feels much calmer.

My next client was another telephone session, this time a Business Breakthrough client who is working to grow his small business.  We speak monthly, each session is focused on creating an Action Plan to move him towards his targets.  He too is making good progress and is much more focused and motivated.

Then I took some time to update my own Action Plan following a meeting with my coach and mentor on Wednesday.  I intend to continue to grow my business, so it’s important to plan and have my own targets and goals.  In my opinion everyone needs a coach, even coaches need a coach.  It’s vital to maintain the focus and forward momentum.

After lunch it was time to visit another Business Breakthrough client, we meet in a coffee shop in a local hotel.  We have worked together for eight months, in that time she has increased her sales by an amazing 300%/

Following this meeting I drive back to my office, it’s time to catch up on some emails and phone calls.  That’s about it.

My evening, well, once I have received my 30 Day Blog Challenge email it’s time to start blogging again and of course to watch The Masters golf on TV.

The great thing about what I do now is the variety, every day is different.

I have found myself a freedom that I didn’t know existed.  I am happy.

___

About the Author: Sue Bown: Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Twitter @thecoachingzone
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheCoachingZone

Other blog posts:

Would you buy more time?
Sarah Martin – aiming high and far
How do I indentify my target market?

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Website - Twitter - Facebook - More Posts

Happy Mother’s Day to Mum’s everywhere. I hope you’ve had a fabulous day.   I took a little time this morning to look for items relevant to this celebrated day in the online newspapers.   There was a selection of items, ranging from Best Fictional Mums – In Pictures in The Observer and a discussion in another paper about the value of Mother’s Day, is it too commercial, is it just an excuse to sell cards, flowers and gifts.  What do you think?

The history of Mother’s Day goes back to ancient Greece with a connection to the festival of Cybele, a mother of Greek gods.  The festival was always held near to the Spring Equinox.  Early Christians celebrated a Mother’s Festival on the forth Sunday of Lent to honour the Vigin Mary and over time it evolved to celebrate all mothers and called it Mothering Sunday.

I even found a website called DayforMothers.com where you can find Mother’s Day poems, Mother’s Day wallpaper, games and believe it or not Mother’s Day jokes. 

Whatever your thoughts, it was heartening to see so many people out with their Mum’s today.  I smiled as I read tweets from Twitter friends about special breakfasts that had been prepared and Mother’s Day cards made by their children.

Mum’s are special every day and commercial or not I think the sentiment of Mother’s Day is perfect.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Website - Twitter - Facebook - More Posts