25 years old and still the best self-help book out there

Yesterday’s Daily Mail carried an article in which I discovered that my favourite self-help book was 25 years old.  Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway written by Susan Jeffers has been going strong for 25 years – wow!  That’s amazing!  I am sad to say I only discovered it five years ago when I was studying for my life coaching accreditation.  But, boy did it have an impact on me!  It made me think very differently.

This powerful little 200-odd page book will give you the power to choose, the power to recognise the control you have over your responses to absolutely everything  I recommend it to many of my friends and my clients, both male and female.   The results have been astounding, used in conjunction with a programme of coaching it’s been remarkable.  The message is simple.  To use an over-used phrase ‘it does what it says on the tin’ and that’s a fact.

Below is an extract from Susan Jeffers’ website which sums up perfectly what the book is all about.

The Five Truths About Fear

FEAR TRUTH #1
The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow!

Every time you take a step into the unknown, you experience fear. There is no point in saying, “When I am no longer afraid, then I will do it.” You’ll be waiting for a long time. The fear is part of the package.

FEAR TRUTH #2
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and…do it!

When you do it often enough, you will no longer be afraid in that particular situation. You will have faced the unknown and you will have handled it. Then new challenges await you, which certainly add to the excitement in living.

FEAR TRUTH #3
The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and…do it!

With each little step you take into unknown territory, a pattern of strength develops. You begin feeling stronger and stronger and stronger.

FEAR TRUTH #4
Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else!

This should be a relief. You are not the only one out there feeling fear. Everyone feels fear when taking a step into the unknown. Yes, all those people who have succeeded in doing what they have wanted to do in life have felt the fear – and did it anyway. So can you!

FEAR TRUTH #5
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness!

This is the one truth that some people have difficulty understanding. When you push through the fear, you will feel such a sense of relief as your feeling of helplessness subsides. You will wonder why you did not take action sooner. You will become more and more aware that you can truly handle anything that life hands you.

These five truths about fear have been adapted from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway® and its sequel, Feel the Fear and Beyond.

Once you realise you have a choice, you will have the power.  You will be able to feel the fear and do it anyway in any situation!

If you want to change something in your life, ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’ is phenomenal.  Have a look on your book shelves see if you have a copy that’s been lurking there for years and if you do re-read it.  If you read it two years ago, read it again, make it a yearly task.  Or buy your copy now!

How has ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’ helped you in your life?  Share your stories in the comment section here.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Find a way of developing resilience

How many times do you have to hear ‘no’ before you give up?  Do you get a knock-back, someone says ‘no’ and that’s it, it’s over.

1.  You apply for a job, you have all the skills, they say no, you give up.

2.  You ask for a promotion, you are the perfect candidate, they say no, you give up.

3.  You set up a business, you have a great product, you ask for sales, they say no, you give up.

Recognise yourself in any of these patterns?

Remember when you were small and you wanted something.  You asked for it.  And you didn’t get it.  You asked for it again. You still didn’t get it.  So you asked in a different way.  Still no joy.  So you asked someone else. Maybe that worked.  If it didn’t, you found another way and kept on trying.

What is resilience?

If you look at the strategies of successful people, you will find they have developed a method of becoming so resilient, they won’t stop until they reach their goal.  They keep trying, time after time.  Some will even tell you that they like hearing the “no’s” because it means they’re closer to that highly-prized “yes!”

My top resilience tips:

1. Define your goal, be clear on what you want.
2. Be creative, think of many different ways you can reach your goal.
3. Ask for help, others may be able to provide you exactly what you need to get a step closer.
4. Stop taking everything personally, just because you didn’t get it this time doesn’t mean you are a bad person or your product is no good.
5. Take a tip from former US President Bill Clinton who said “If you voluntarily quit in the face of adversity, you’ll wonder about it for the rest of your life.”

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Louise Reynolds, Property Venture, busy working mum

I started my company Property Venture with a view to striking a positive work, family-life balance, as well as pursuing a passion in property. I had done all the city-commuting bit, doing a demanding job and still trying to have a family life, but cracks were starting to appear.

So Property Venture® was born, to make an ethical mark in the overseas property scene, operating a low overhead business model and allowing for home life. So,am I achieving it?

Well a typical, recent, Monday looks like this…

My alarm goes off at 6.40 a.m. but my alarm clock knows that there is a big difference between it going off and me getting up!  But, I am in action at 7.20 a.m. corralling, cajoling, chuntering and just generally getting the kids ready for school.

By the time I have dropped off at their schools at 8.25 a.m. and 8.35 a.m. respectively, I can be at my office desk at 8.45 a.m.  My low overhead business model means that my work is close to the childrens’ schools.

I check e-mails first thing to see if anything urgent needs to be dealt with and my Twitter Direct Messages, through my Hootsuite panel, as well as a whistle-stop at my Facebook Property Venture Company Page. When I first started using social media for business I was scared stiff about how much of my time it would sap away from doing productive, “hard-nosed”, work.  Now it has become part of my weekly routine and by using all the support tools, management suites and pre-saved tabs on my internet browser Firefox ( I find it more robust than Internet Explorer), I believe it has helped me become a more prolific and efficient business communicator.  This and property-forum posting have helped build the business profile on the property scene. I now have a following of over 1200 on Twitter (I like to think it’s because I have something valuable to say about property and investing, but it may be some people have nothing better to do…), and on LinkedIn and Facebook I have over 500 valuable connections respectively.

I try to limit my time on this so I can start with meaty projects.  It’s that time of month again…(no not that one…) when I send out my e-newsletter to my database.  I make sure I have all my Property Blogs and Press Room posts up to date (my latest mention has been in A Place in the Sun for my Turkish tips), as I feature them all in my newsletters. This mailing can be quick, or really time-consuming, depending on technology.  I use 1shoppingcart to manage my database and if I don’t work in the mornings, it chugs along more slowly when the USA wakes up in the afternoon.  Still, I console myself that last month’s newsletter got a promising 19% open rate, so there must be interest in all my latest tips on overseas property buying.

I manage to grab time to follow up on a Spanish property enquiry and have a conversation with the Spanish Lawyer I am working with to help people who have paid a deposit on an off-plan property, but have not got a finished property to show for it. This has hit a nerve for many, who have had a frustrating time dealing with this from afar.

I don’t usually take a lunch break, which is part of my way of extending my working day.  This is even better if the children have after-school clubs, so I don’t have to pick up until 4.15 p.m. I then get home and do a bit more work, although this isn’t a great way of making sure the children do their homework properly.  I have often found myself feeling guilty at Parents’ evening for not doing better at this!  Anyway, it seems a small price to pay for that ever-seemingly-elusive, work life balance.

Louise Reynolds is the Director at Property Venture® and would love to connect with other Business Ladies either through Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn

Property Venture® has been featured or mentioned in: The Sunday Times, The Times Online, Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, Independent on Sunday, Homes Magazine, HSBC Liquid Magazine, Easyjet Magazine, London Homes & Property, A Place in the Sun

If you would like to write about a day in your life and how you manage your own work/life balance, please get in touch with sue@thecoachingzone.co.uk.

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LK Bennett website

I am loving LK Bennett’s latest advertising campaign with it’s clever strapline ‘Life is the occasion’.  How often do you keep your best clothes, best attitude, or dare I say, best behaviour for special occasions only? 

Life IS the occasion.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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A new leaf? Picture courtesy of www.tvftdo.com

Having seen all the recent activity on my blog, one of my lovely clients asked if she could submit a blog giving an account of her personal coaching journey.  I know she has come such a long way and got a great deal from her coaching.  She has done this with focus and very impressive determination.  I am flattered by what she says and I am delighted she wants to share her story.

“I started my coaching with Sue in April 2008.  Initially, I was seeking help with my work life balance.  Once I began my sessions I could see how closely connected all areas of life are and how it’s hard therefore to discuss them independently – hence the title “Life Coaching”!

Life coaching with Sue has made a real difference to me. I have been able to look at my responses and  reactions to situations and take greater responsibility for my actions and decisions. This has enabled me to feel calmer and more in control of my life.  Coaching is powerful because through careful questioning it leads to finding solutions from within yourself.  Coaching is all about finding clarity and moving forward.

Sue has walked alongside me through a range of issues –  from time management, issues at work to more personal issues of communication within relationships and even enabling me to face a real fear and anxiety about driving.

Throughout, Sue has challenged and supported me.  It has been an incredible journey (quite literally with the driving!). I have learnt alot about myself and made valuable life changes.  Life Coaching is a real personal investment..  I have learnt the importance of making and taking time to look at my life.  It is not indulgent, it is a necessity if we wish to give and be our best not only to ourselves, but to those we live and work with.

Of course, the real success lies in finding and working with the right coach. I count myself very fortunate to have met Sue and to have had the opportunity to work with her. Sue offers more than just the ability and skills needed to be a coach.  Sue is compassionate and has a real commitment to her role as well as great intuition.    I met Sue at a time when I really needed help and guidance.  I can really see the difference between how I handled things before coaching and now.  With Sue I have found clarity, contentment and a feeling that whatever happens I “can handle it”.

This is priceless.  Life Coaching with Sue is a present to myself – and what a gift it is.”

Find out more about how life coaching can help you.
Free your mind – Live your life, free email coaching programme

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Sarah and Becky Martin, a determined pair of bunnies

The marvelous Martin sisters did it!  Their challenge, as mentioned in my previous blog, was to complete three marathons in three consecutive weekends, simply amazing.  Congratulations to Sarah and Becky!   Believe it or not this picture was taken after they had finished the London Marathon, their final race. These two inspiring women have raised nearly £6000 in sponsorship for Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation for Disabled People and would love to raise more. 

I spent a magical day in London watching the spectacle that is the Virgin London Marathon.  What a heart-warming, inspirational day.  I loved every minute.  It’s been about 12 years since I last went to see the London Marathon and I am amazed at how it has grown in that time.  The atmosphere was electric, the camaraderie of the spectators was wonderful and the competitors were so inspiring.  I left home early and arrived at Canary Wharf at about 9.30am,  OK, it was early for me, many of the runners must have left way earlier than that!  I went on my own and shortly after arriving I bumped into a friend and her husband, what a coincidence.  They were on their way to mile 15, but I decided to stay put.  I was glad I did as just outside Canary Wharf station on a set-up stage, the amazing Rock Choir started their performance.  The choir was formed mostly of women their voices rang out as they sang big pop ballards.  I found myself singing and dancing in the street with complete strangers, wonderful!

The excitement grew when the whirr of the helicopters overhead announced the arrival of the first group of competitors, the Wheelchair Men group,  The other groups raced through in batches, the Elite Women, the Wheelchair Women and then finally the Elite Men.  Each group interspersed by stragglers from the previous groups.  Canary Wharf is at mile 19 so the strain of the race was showing on the faces of many whilst others looked like they were out for a walk in the park.

As soon as these groups went through I left and took the underground to Bermondsey, which is at mile 12, I stayed there for 20 minutes and watched some of the main group of fun runners, people in every concievable costume, every age, it was so impressive.  The crowds and the number of runners had grown by this time, every one with a story to tell.

Spectators and runners - each with a story to tell

Then, back on the train to Embankment. I walked towards Westminster, the crowds were two and three deep, I stopped to watch the runners, I couldn’t help but be moved to tears by the bravery and the determination of so many.  After that it was back to Waterloo Bridge where I was meeting a Ladies at 11 member, Laura Hart and her husband.  This was where we hoped to see Sarah and Becky come through just two miles from the end of the race.  Sarah had given us prior warning that they were wearing pink fluffy bunny ears, so craned our necks looking into the sea of brave faces as they ran past us, where were those ears?  Then suddenly there they were, we screamed out to them and they heard us and saw us waving furiously.  Our job was done.

We left and walked to Horseguards parade and watched all the finishers as they filed into the meeting area and there they were in the crowd again those pink fluffy bunny ears, and the two smiling relieved faces of Sarah and Becky.   Well done girls, hope you’re having a well-earned rest next weekend!  Their charity is  Queen Elizabeth’s Foundation for Disabled People, if you haven’t already sponsored them and would like  to you can do so here.

All in all it was a truly special day, one filled with friendship, determination, inspiration and dedication.  A fantastic example of London as the wonderful city it is.  A perfect Sunday!

Would you buy more time?
Sarah Martin – aiming high and far
A Day in the Life
How do I indentify my target market?
How changing your view can reinvent your life

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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Sue Bown

It’s day seven of my 30 Day Blog Challenge, today’s assignment is to write a ‘day in the life’ – hence the title.  It’s been a beautiful spring day today and that’s good because it’s Saturday and to me that means golf.  Whilst I could bore you witless with a blow by blow account of my round of golf, I think I’ll desist. 

Therefore, I’ll tell you about my day on Thursday.  It was another beautiful April day, a cloudless blue sky.  Inspired by this, I started bright and early.  I was a little bit bleary-eyed as I‘d had a late but enjoyable Wednesday night acting as a judge at the Toastmasters Area level of International Speech Evaluation Contest.

My work is much more enjoyable these days since I left my corporate career four years ago.  At that time I was in a cosseted corporate role, by cosseted I mean that I didn’t fully appreciate the regular monthly paycheck I received and I didn’t appreciate the benefits working for a large corporate company.   It took a huge brave leap to leave, to be honest I surprised myself.  It has proven to be one of the best decisions I have ever made.  In the relatively short time since leaving  I have learnt new skills, enhanced old skills, made new friends and contacts, got to know myself better and it feels like I’ve transformed myself into a completely new person.

Back to Thursday, I got started with my first client of the day, a telephone coaching session.  This lady has  recently started working with me she is working on her work/life balance and managing her stress levels.  She has a session weekly, she is doing very well and feels much calmer.

My next client was another telephone session, this time a Business Breakthrough client who is working to grow his small business.  We speak monthly, each session is focused on creating an Action Plan to move him towards his targets.  He too is making good progress and is much more focused and motivated.

Then I took some time to update my own Action Plan following a meeting with my coach and mentor on Wednesday.  I intend to continue to grow my business, so it’s important to plan and have my own targets and goals.  In my opinion everyone needs a coach, even coaches need a coach.  It’s vital to maintain the focus and forward momentum.

After lunch it was time to visit another Business Breakthrough client, we meet in a coffee shop in a local hotel.  We have worked together for eight months, in that time she has increased her sales by an amazing 300%/

Following this meeting I drive back to my office, it’s time to catch up on some emails and phone calls.  That’s about it.

My evening, well, once I have received my 30 Day Blog Challenge email it’s time to start blogging again and of course to watch The Masters golf on TV.

The great thing about what I do now is the variety, every day is different.

I have found myself a freedom that I didn’t know existed.  I am happy.

___

About the Author: Sue Bown: Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Twitter @thecoachingzone
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheCoachingZone

Other blog posts:

Would you buy more time?
Sarah Martin – aiming high and far
How do I indentify my target market?

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

Website - Twitter - Facebook - More Posts

Oh dear, what have I done, I’ve signed up to Nikki Pilkington’s 30 Day Blogging Challenge. This is day one, only another 29 to go!  Firstly thanks for reading this and thanks for supporting me on this challenge.  I’ve had a blog now for about three years, but my blogging has been sporadic to say the least.  You may have noticed my last blog was published back in January, so now is the time to pull my socks up and let Nikki knock me into shape.  She has promised to send me an email every day to help motivate and inspire me.  Today’s email hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m that eager to get going I’ve started already.  Why don’t you join up too and we can compare notes along the way?

Why have I done this?  Well, I know blogging helps to build your website and grow connections and it’s a great low-cost way to market your business and to raise your profile.  I can do this by providing information that readers hopefully will find useful.  Also, it’s been bugging me that I have this website with a blog facility set up and I don’t use it enough.  Who knows this might even be therapuetic!

To introduce myself, my name is Sue Bown, I work with business owners, executives and individuals to take their businesses and lives to the next level by achieving their business and life goals.  Also I’m a keen golfer, especially in the sun!

What do I need to get going on this blog?  I need ideas and inspiration.  I do get ideas, occasionally I get started on them as a blog item and then they get lost in the doing and never get published.  If you can help me with any ideas. please let me know.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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I’ve just recieved an email from a client who has come to realise she has bad habits.  There are things that she does regularly every day that bother her, I smiled as I read her email as I realised she’s not alone.  I could recognise a few habits of mine I’d like to change.  There are also habits I’m glad to keep, we need habits or routine to get us through every day.  Get up, get washed, get dressed.  They’re all good habits, they keep us busy and it’s just part of daily life.  They serve us.  It’s the bad habits that need to change.  The ones that don’t serve us.   These could be to exercise regularly, to eat healthily, to make decisions quickly, the list goes on.

Habits are also a useful way to remember and do the things we learn, the new skills we acquire. the more we do them, the more they become part of us.  Think about something that was once completely alien to you and is now part of daily life, for example, driving a car, riding a bike, using a mobile phone.  All of these things once learned became habits, things we could repeat easily and effortlessly. 

Having this ability to repeat habits means that we tend to keep habits that we don’t want, for example; smoking, procrastination, staying in bed too late, over-eating.  The good news here is just as we can learn to do things we can un-learn by doing something else.  We can learn a new good habit to replace and old bad habit.  All we have to do is get started.  So why not write a list of three bad habits you could change today and write down what you’re going to do instead.  Then start behaving ‘as if’ these new habits were already part of daily life.  Keep going with it and soon your new habits will become part of a new you.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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I know what you’re thinking ‘here we go, another one of these New Year, New You articles’.  Please stick with me here!

New Year is an inspiring time, chance to start afresh, make changes and focus on new things.  It’s a time full of hope, but how long do you let that hope last?  Think back – how long did it take you to give up on last year’s resolutions?  How long before hope dwindled, old patterns returned together with the frustration of not achieving what you want to achieve.

Why set goals?
In order for us to achieve something, however small, we need a focus.  Even if it’s to tie our shoelaces or to do up a button.  You focus on getting your shoelaces tied or your button done up and you do it.  In fact you’ve probably done it so many times it’s second nature to you.   There was a time when it wasn’t second nature and you had to consciously make an effort to do it.  The same can be said of anything you want to achieve.  You just need to get started, take small steps and soon it becomes familiar and comfortable.

What type of goal setter are you?
Do you set goals or resolutions every year and give up before January is out or sooner?  Or do you purposely not set goals because you don’t want to disappoint yourself?
Both situations result in stress, frustration no focus.  Not having a focus is giving up on what’s important to you and potentially going where others decide to take you.  Would you ever get into a taxi and say ‘Take me anywhere’?  Probably not, but by not setting goals that’s exactly what you are doing.

Some tips for making 2012 your best year yet.

1. Write down 3 areas in your life that are important to you.  This could be home, work, family, money, personal development, health and fitness.
2. Decide how you could make 2012 even better in each area.  Write down an outcome or goal for each area.
3. Now get started in each area, however small, just get going.  (Top tip – if you’re doing this before Christmas, start now!  By January you’ll be ahead of the game)
4. Do something every day towards your goals.
5. Sign up for my free newsletter, packed with tips, interviews and exercises all to help you reach your 2012 goals.

Sue Bown

Works with businesses and individuals to get better results, more efficiency, less stress AND more success. I play golf too, especially in the sun!

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